AndrewTBarrett

My life doesn't slow down

Motivation

So something that makes me feel real is when I help someone. Doing something genuine. The act really helps me feel like I have a purpose on this planet. 
One factor I lack is motivation though, I have motivation if presented the opportunity to help someone, but I don’t ever help myself if given the opportunity. 
In general, I have a serious problem with the process of starting something. I honestly just blow at the initiation of anything productive. It really freggin sucks.
Ex: Gotta do some laundry? Alright, lets gather up the clothes and hey, I should probably eat before I start my laundry. Yeah! I’m gonna go get something to eat…*yawn* actually…I think I’m gonna take a nap…
Then I proceed to take the nap.
I’m not quite sure what I would call that. But it’s exactly how I function. And naps are a majority of my time.
Anyways, I really would like to see myself pick up on some type of persistent motivation. Rather than my last minute procrastination last minute efforts…
Because if I keep it up, I won’t be very successful in life.
Whaddyuh doin Andy, Get yo shit together!Image

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What Makes a Good Person?

What makes someone a “good person”?
I like to think of it as someone who does what his/her heart tells them to do. Always doing the greater good. 
What defines greater good though?… First thought that pops in my head is the Bible. Or is this question answered by culture?…
Probably culture..
If I do do an act, that someone I think highly of approves, did I do right? Probably definitely depends.
Everything depends on something…
I’m not asking for an obvious answer here though.. Because if legitimate advice depends, then what use is general advice for other than a foundation for how to start resolving problems.. Is that what I’m looking for? 
Yeah…Probably just a foundation..
Fuck foundations, I like my life to be complex and overly convoluted. If I didn’t ask myself these questions I wouldn’t be me now would I?

Life is meant to be a giant clusterfuck of… “Hmmm, that wasn’t smart.. Oh! That was worth it!…Was that the right thing to do?…”
I’m alone with my thoughts, and I always will be. Always drowning in advice that I’ll never take but always enjoy to hear.

  

One always writes comedy at the moment of deepest hysteria. ~V. S. Naipaul

Lately, I’ve been in a dream like trance of mediocrity. I look back at my life and realize, “wow, I was quite over-joyously happy when I was coming out of my toddler years.” Then I think, wait…Was I?
Of course I was, being oblivious is possibly the greatest reality one can live in. But I have an inquisitive nature that doesn’t stop questioning itself, and
I think it’s a problem.
Anyways, something I came to conclude long ago but resurfaced today was how much I enjoy comedy. That’s all I freggin watch nowadays along with horror movies. (Hell yes)
Comedy is more of a blessing than anything else. If I couldn’t laugh at something, mostly myself, then I would be a sheer tragedy.
Life shouldn’t be this serious.
I implore society to be more comedic in their everyday lives… That way, we’ll always have something to laugh at.

Logic or Emotion

So it’s to my understanding that I may write about anything on my mind. If that’s the case, I’m going to ramble on about my recent thoughts.
With every person I meet, I like to read their personalities. I do this to try to figure out what makes them happy, what drives their inner being.
Some people I meet, they appear so happy and cheerful. They’re in bliss, they are content with life itself and I can see it in their eyes. These people live in a world that positive image is crucial and adamant to their structure. Opinion is of grave importance and relevant with how they should perceive themselves as well. Maybe faith has a factor in this as well, I’m not entirely sure.
I personally really enjoy seeing happiness smacked on the faces of those around me. Yet I don’t understand it. I’m personally religious yet I don’t feel like I really am. I’ve talked to many pastors/priests/friends who always give me the same advice…Nothing that really sinks down and satisfies that thirst for understanding…Anyways…
Then there are those who seize the day profoundly and with direct logical understanding and meaning. These people I understand, yet I don’t see much happiness. I’m not trying to insinuate that logical people are unhappy, but that I, personally, see a difference in vibe.
Which brings to question, is logic ultimately depressing? Maybe blissful ignorance is the key to true happiness..
Maybe I’m chasing the wrong question, which is, “What is important?” 
I assume, in the end, happiness…But that makes one think, what makes you happy?
To answer that, I don’t know..
The randomocity of how my thoughts process and why I think these thoughts usually makes me think I’m ultimately insane or just not thinking correctly..
Who knows, I’m only 18. I think too much or maybe not enough.Image

English 110 Thoughts

The parts of the class that stuck out to me were the general outgoing traits that alot of my classmates possessed. The teacher is very sociable, relatable , and very easy to get along with. My thoughts on this class are that I will enjoy the company and the teacher as much as I could with an English class. 
So fair to say, I’m looking forward to seeing how this class goes down.